Makes Me Happy: Romantic evenings. There's nothing quite like a date with a beautiful woman with a charming sense of humour; you both get on like a dream. Also, she has all the characteristics you look for in a woman: wit, elegance and femininity. So, there you are, at a bar drinking some good wine and engaging in quirky conversation - brilliant. You both get back to your place..kissing and cuddling. You put some romantic music on to further set the mood, and have a few more drinks. Morning comes, and you smile at her curled up in a ball laying in a pool of her own blood and tears, not knowing what happened to her the night before as she clutches her arse in pain, and you think: "Carlsberg doesn't do dates..but rohypnol certainly does."
Makes Me Sad: War, famine, oppression..,nah, that's a giggle; what I'm really saddened by is the phrase "there's safety in numbers" - tell that to 6 million jews.
Interests: I give blood and semen on a regular basis.
Profession: My job is annoying. First, let me tell you about my co-workers: the first girl I work with is really intelligent - maybe the smartest person I know - however, she's a right munter. Impotence is rife around her. Meh; the second girl I work with is the complete opposite - she is lush. An extremely gorgeous looking girl. I would; the third person is a scruffy, smelly, stoner. Always in a paranoid mood - thinks he can see monsters. Also, he's never without his big fuck-off dog, that must be as equally as high - both of 'em always snacking. Anyway, we drive around in my van solving mysteries and shit.
Bad Habits: None. I'm angelic. The only way I could be any more angelic is if Jesus suddenly resurrected and came in my mouth and arse at the same time.
Good Habits: I no longer masturbate in church - mainly because the vicar does it for me. Another good habit, there - bringing joy to others. Willingly becoming just another statistic of the 'little boys club'. Fun times. I'm joking, of course, I've never been abused. In fact, the last time I went to church was when I had to watch my nan burn - fire, GrAaRr! Nature's own toy. It was a shit day out, though, I mean, they didn't even have any cheesy-pineapple-sticks at the buffet. Wasn't impressed.
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